At Death's Door

I've never thought about myself dying much. As a child, I was devastated at the thought of others dying. I remember watching a movie about a just married couple, where the wife suddenly found out she had cancer and the plot was mainly about her journey to death and how she began to accept it as well as how her husband began to accept her death. That movie made such a impression on me, I was scared of the people around me dying, and I would pray that everyone in my family would have good health and not die. Then, my grandfather and my auntie died recently; surprisingly, I couldn't summon the tears to cry - maybe I'd grown up from then, maybe I just knew they were @ a better place.

Speaking of which, Michael Jackson's death hasn't really hit me yet either. I still remember during exam time, I was a bored and decided to procrastinate - by watching MJ's The Way you Make Me Feel and I was wondering to myself - what would happen if MJ did die, I never thought it would actually occur a few days later. I'm still in denial - as if he died!

However, the real point of this mini post would be regarding last night. I was terribly sick, very feverish - spluttering, coughing and blowing my nose every few seconds. My head was throbbing and I was in a generally bad condition. ( Jazz ensemble- bad condition :P). It suddenly occured to me that I could die! It sounds ludicrous but at that time, when I was in bed, I came to this realisation that maybe I could die - maybe this was my last night here.

So I quickly went to my phone and unlocked my Inbox and texted up a draft highlighting like my goodbyes to my family and friends. Of course, I've deleted it now, and my inbox is locked with a password hehe, however, that thought really got me quite hard - it seemed like an impossibility - bubbles dead ?! but anything could happen.

Anyway, since I'm still in this particular mindset, I'd like to thank all my friends and family for every every moment we have spent together - you guys have brought joy into my lives and I hope I have done so in return. (wow, that sounded pretty corny :P)

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