I'D LOVE TO BLOG MORE

but i can't. 

for me, time passes just too quickly. i can never get stuck into doing my work. Maybe i shouuld follow Liuser's example and start heading off to the library again.

anyways to sum up this week's events:

Monday:

Found out abt our UAI estimates. Congrats to the people who got the awards especially those who got both Improvement AND Excellence (99.35<) like SY, Michael Li and a few others. *very jealous glare* XD

Went to MINDFULNESS. HAHA. it's quite good. shame i can't go this week cos I GET A MUSIC EXCURSION HEHE XD but more abt that later. yes. we basically listened to a tape/cd that taught us how to meditate and concentrate on our breathing, slowly developing a method to focus on the present without mindlessly reminiscing the past or dreaming abt the future. I don't know how much that did for me, but it was a good sleep (=

AFTERNOON DETENTION - was the greatest afternoon spent @ school apart from Musical.

The school had delivered a massive hill of Mulch and as detention, we had to shovel that into wheelbarrows, then pour it out on to this patch of grass and have it spread out onto that piece of land. 

Winnie + Shaun (the weaklings) and me initially xP - Raking (spreading the mulch)

Leeanne and sometimes Mr. Low - wheelbarrow (heaps of fun filling up her barrow unevenly so it'd b harder for her to balance and take it to the raking spots) 

Eddison, Nathan, Justin, Eddy and yours sincerely - shovelling. 

almost forgot. McKenzie was quite mean to Shaun. Asking him questions like, what event you go into? what you come in 1500 huh? i don't like that attitude of yours. I can see it in your eyes. GRR. 

OH, and i got a blister. My first one on my hand, i think :P

Anyways it was much much fun. Most interesting thing was probably the extreme heat that was in the middle of the mulch (the result of bacterial degradation of the mulch or something scientific that i totally comprehend and grasp)

Then we headed off to Epping to try out this new Patisserie place that Winnie had discovered. It’s called Sweetness the Patisserie. And I must say, it’s quite droolworthy. Here are some pictures to tingle your tastebuds =)

The taste test jar, which i exploited when the nice lady @ the counter wasn't watching. bahaha.

the marshmellows were top rate! Winnie, who apparently doesn't like to eat 'low-grade' marshmellows, the type you buy in a huge pack from Woolworths, liked these. The flavours were quite colourful, ranging from Lime, to Raspberry. I highly recommend this for people with a sweet tooth. Like me =D

they have many other desserts too - but they're not as reasonably priced, in my opinion. Nevertheless, it's definitely worth a try. It's in Epping, where intuition is but you keep walking almost until you reach Arden School. (i think)

Tuesday

Grubsy came back saying his band won first place. congrats. 

can't really remember what else. OH, belle finally gave me music. THANKS =) only trouble is there's so much I don't know what to listen to first. =S

and people started to get their estimates. 

Can't remember much from the rest of the week. for some bad reason..

Oh yes. I got my estimate. Turns out I shoulda got an award - YAY. barely scraped in though. 99.35. 

Need to improve my maths. By a lot. sigh* 100 UAI is still a dream haha

Turns out I can't take advantage of the supposedly good 'scaling' of Jap EXT or Music EXT unless i come first or second. Which is quite fustrating considering you can come 30th in Physics and it's still considered very good. there's only room for one 1st place. 

I'm actually quite, depressed? i'm just not happy chappy. haha i guess. I'm very stressed. I told my mum i got 99.35. and she's wondering why i can't get 99.9 already. I tell her i can improve maths, and she's like. YES DO MORE MATHS. and i just don't know how to balance my work anymore. 

Furthermore, today. I had a piano lesson. I practiced REALLY hard yesterday for it. 3 hours straight. haha that's the most i've practiced the whole year. and when I go to have my lesson. I'm stuffing up everything. I can't play right. Whenever I start panicking, I tense up and the sound is terrible. I can't get the notes right either. I JUST HATE how all my practice seems to have gone down to waste. WHY CAN'T I BE A GENIUS ?!?!

but my teacher's nice. in fact she's awesome. Tells me that I can't make up for 6 months practice in 3 hours. yes. i know. BUT WHY CAN'T I BE A GENIUS WHO CAN DO THAT ?!. sigh** now i have to spend MORE time which i need to be doing maths or english creative writing or jap memorising.  I JUST DON't HAVE ENOUGH TIME!

i was reading Doraemon manga (raw) cos i can. heh jokes. i bought the Doraemon movie manga from Japan when I went last year and i decided to read it, see how much i could understand. Anyway, Doraemon has this awesome device where he can STOP time. i'd love to do that. 

I'm very worried abt my future too. Belle, i know what you're feeling now. far out. if i go music. i need to take a GAP year so i can get enough experience, go into competitions and really just GET better. THEN, take most of another year to audition into the Colburn School of Music. 

If i get in, i get free EVERYTHING, almost and plus i get an allowance and my future is almost set. All that's left is that I continue working hard, and i should be more or less fine. 

BUT IF I DON't MAKE It.

i woulda wasted 2 years. I would have to redo everything agn, get into Uni, and watch all those people I know almost finishing their degrees while i still have a few years left. I don't really mind it i guess, i'd still make friends i guess, but I would avoid it if i could. 

My other option, is I can do Medicine/Music which Lilian So (my hero) is doing atm. i think. @ USyd as well. It's good i guess, except that the Conversatorium is going downhill, with their new dean who ent real good. its' not too bad i guess. I like medicine. i think. it's really interesting. I think. 

Is it worth the risk? should i go for my dream? or go for something more realistic?

WHAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER? 

I went to Youth Group today before Church and we were praying to Mary cos this month is the Holy Month of  Mary and for all these years, my basic and fundamental prayer whenever I needed to say something quick, short and succinct. 

I just want to be happy. 

Digressing ( i have 3 minutes left) i need to finish by 9.30 so i can continue practicing piano.

My tutor from back in Year 4,5,6 had a baby. YAY! she's the most awesome person ever. If she were my age, I think i'd like to marry her. xD anyway, that's not the point, but when we saw her baby i dno. This sounds really weird. But i'd really wouldn't mind having my own family. I mean, not sounding pedo or anything but I like kids. I like having a family, people who i can trust and just say/do anything with. I mean of course, I'm not at all financially able right now. and if i do music, well, it'd b quite a long time (when i'm 50 maybe) until i can earn HOPEFULLY if i'm a conductor, around 500,000? haha if i'm lucky. A famous conductor would earn hopefully that much. I have no idea. 

BUT. to do something you love. and earn that much. That's my dream.

welps. It's 9.30.

sorry for the lack of pictures. I really don't have much. 

TOMORROW. 

CARL VINE INTRO OF NEW PIANO SONATA NO.3 @ ANGEL'S PLACE.

shall take lots of photo and blog abt it on saturday/sunday. I need to record what i do each week, otherwise i'd seriously forget. 

TUESDAY:

AS YOU LIKE IT PLAY @ Erkensville. where the hell is that haha. 

APPARENTLY, people from Baulko saw it and they say it's really good. the stage is in the middle and teh audience is around the stage. it's like a wrestling/boxing stage. and the actors interact with the audience. which i always find awesome.

WEDNESDAY:

school,,

then MEET THE MUSIC @ night. 

shall go to chatswood first to buy presents, which i will say later. as well. CRAP. time's over but i still have so much to say. anyways 

meet the music - conducted by another hero of mine. Vladimir Ashkenazy 

He earns aroudn 900,000 and probably more each year. doing the thing he LOVES. That is my dream.

But anyways 

PRESENTS:

Need to get Ambert something. shall not discuss here but whoever wants to chip in for his birthday this coming THURSDAY: please text me let me know ASAP;

Kazuki. something Australian haha and awesome, like me :P 

Might buy some tennis balls for Eddison cos i lost many of his whilst playing tennis. DON'T TELL HIM IT'S MEANT TO BE SECRET haha hopefully he doesn't read this.

might by my past tutor Jennifer something for her lil boy and her too. Bosco you would know her. Jennifer Kwaan, Alex Kwaan's wife. Alex is like one of your brother's friends from back @ Ruse

oo. need to get Jonathan (friend from Baulko) something too, it was his birthday end of march and i stil haven't got him anything. Was gna get Kazuki to post something over from Japan but his mum said no. ah wells.

okay. it's WAY beyond scheduled time. I haf to go. 

sorry for lack of photos again. and probably another boring post. 

everybody have a good week. (=